Ok, Doomer
Reflecting on a summer filled with Cons, squashing demons (digital and internal), and a show that gave me the feels.
Pros and Cons
I’ve been to a Comic-Con or two in my day. The first was 2015: Metro Con, in Tampa. It was an eye-opening experience, to say the least. My friend and I loitered in the exhibition hall for hours, examining all the nerd wares we didn’t have the money to buy. See below for a very young, and very happy me pretending I’m Garen from League of Legends.
My friend went around as a drunk Uncle Ben from “Spider Man” and harassed any attendees cosplaying as the web-slinging Marvel hero, and I was a photographer from the Daily Planet playing paparazzi. Good times. We sat in on some panels, watched a drunk Super Smash Bros tournament, and ultimately found ourselves at a strip club in Ybor city at around 11pm watching dancers “clothed” in Power Ranger outfits hula-hooping rings of fire. Eye-opening, indeed.
Since then I’ve been a regular attendee at NYC Anime Con, PAX Unplugged, and a few others. I’ve never really dressed up or anything - not due to a lack of interest, but rather a lack of a big group who wanted to commit to the bit. Then, this past July, my grad school crew made it happen. I’m pleased to present: “Comic Con San Diego: Delicious in Dungeon Edition.”
It really is amazing what you can get on Amazon 3-Day. Yes, the armor was real. Yes, it was incredibly heavy (~50lbs). Yes, I learned why actual cosplayers don’t use real armor. Yes, it was fully-refundable.
Great success.
With 150,000+ humans squeezed into what was ostensibly two city blocks, CCSD was on an entirely different level from other cons I’d been to. The sheer number of panels, rooms, activities, and booths was incomprehensible and borderline overstimulating. We were “considering” waiting in line to see George Lucas until we learned that people had started lining up at the end of the previous day. Respect. On the last day, I found an author named Todd Fahnestock who gave a great sales pitch on his books - if you enjoyed Drizzt, Dragonlance, or any of those DnD-style books from years ago, then you’ll eat his content right up. All in all, I had a great time and would definitely go again. Cons have a soft spot in my heart primarily because of the atmosphere. Everyone feels free to express themselves and let their inner nerd roam, unbothered. I especially love encountering multi-generational groups of attendees - seeing dads walk around with their daughters in matching cosplay will never not make me tear up.
By the way…San Diego freaking rocks. What a cool city: dope weather, delicious burritos everywhere, and Ubers that cost nothing (compared to NYC).
I’ll be back!
Something So Good, It’s Hard to Explain Why
As many an AG-reader knows, we love a good fantasy story ‘round these parts. Give me some monsters, knights, magic, and I’m usually hooked. Admitedly, though, I’m usually not drawn to this genre for the deep, thought-proviking motifs. I’m not one to dissect the metaphors of why the dragon attacked the city, or the particular motivations behind the edgy wizard’s decisions - I’m often in it for the simplicity. Good vs. evil, weak guy trains a bunch to become strong, etc. Stuff I can’t really get in our often morally-grey reality. This is also why I didn’t particularly enjoy Game of Thrones (come at me, GRRM stans).
So, when I first stumbled across Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End on Crunchyroll, I pegged it for another troped-out fantasy show from our friends across the pond. I prepared myself for some high-budget visuals, minimal character development, and slightly too much fan service.
Boy, was I wrong. Spoilers ahead.
Frieren and her band of adventurers go off on their quest to slay the Demon King; a decade-long journey filled with epic battles, heroic deeds, and unimaginable dangers only a group of battle-hardened champions could overcome. At least, that’s probably what happened. The opening scene depicts the heroes returning from their victorious quest; entering the capital city to be recieved by a massive parade and an official congratulations from the king. We only get loose clues as to what had transpired on their journey. The show instead focuses on establishing the relationships between the four protagonists: Himmel the Hero, Eisen the Warrior, Heiter the Priest, and Frieren. Eisen is a dwarf: gruff and stoic, but kind. Heiter is a heavy drinker with a priest problem, and Himmel seems to leans more towards the “goody-two-shoes” party leader trope. Frieren - a functionally immortal elf - remains unbothered the events that had transpired and simply accepts the accolades as they come. The group wanders off from the evening festivities to witness a meteor shower only visible every fifty years, and Frieren complains there are much better places to view it. She’ll show the other three her preferred location the next time around. Himmel chuckles, and Frieren doesn’t understand why.
The rest of the first episode goes through a fifty-year time skip, with Frieren returning to the capital and reuniting with her now elderly comrades. They make the journey together to see the shower, and shortly after Himmel succumbs to his age. The remaining trio attend Himmel’s funeral, and while the casket is being burried Frieren suddenly finds herself bursting into tears. She’s confused at first, frustrated that her human companions live such short lives.
“I wish I got to knew him better,” she exclaims.
The rest of the 25 episode season depicts Frieren’s growth from stoic, unbothered immortal to selfless, enthusiastic, and vibrant protagonist. She fosters a war orphan to fulfill the last request of Heiter, and eventually picks up a former student of Eisen too. The three of them journey their way to the northern land of “resting souls” so she can find closure with Himmel who is revealed - through intimate memory flashbacks - as a warm, selfless, and dutiful leader.
It’s a beautifully-animated and scored production, but the messaging is what kept me. Teterring somewhere between “Carpe Diem” and “It’s All Water Under the Bridge”, Frieren’s character feels a bit like a young person struggling to find meaning in their world. As a guy in his early 30’s, this hit me particularly hard. I’m in the best shape of my life (thanks triathlon), and I have purpose when I wake up every morning, both in my job and in my hobbies. I still find great joy in books, TV shows, video games, and social outings - it’s relatively easy for me to create memories that will last a lifetime. And yet, friends I’ve known since I was a child are getting married, having kids, and moving away. My parents are slowing down. My news feed is burdened with deppresive politics, war, and deepening social divides. Some weeks can feel like years, and some recent years have gone by in an instant. I find myself stuck between the unstoppable force of time and the unmovable object of inaction.
To that end, Frieren learns that - despite her perspective - time is not felt equally by all. Even for her, a nearly-immortal being, it’s not an unlimited currency. Her attitude of indifference, while not unreasonable for a creature such as herself, is a barrier to her progression in life. Over the course of the story she learns to find joy in the little things, like collecting spells or sharing a good meal with friends. She prioritizes small, random acts of kindness towards ordinary folk she encounters.
Most of all, she learns to laugh.
Perhaps that's all we can do with the time given to us. Most of my contemporaries will have another decade or two left with their parents, and many times that left with our friends. And yet, decades can fly by. Frieren’s learnings tell me that - despite all of this - there’s joy to be found if you just slow down. I have no idea where I’ll be in ten years, but what I can tell you today is that the weather outside is nice, so I think I’ll go for a run after work.
And that feels good :)
Speaking of Feeling Good…
I’ve played Doom games before. I had an emulator on my old laptop which ran the original title from the 90s. I did a playthrough of the 2016 remake a few years ago and thoroughly enjoyed it. Heck, I even listen to the metal soundtrack when I lift in the gym. But man - oh man - was I not prepared for how fucking sick Doom: The Dark Ages was. Thrust into a universe comprised of 50% science fiction (lasers, space ships) and 50% fantasy (dragons, maces, capes), I’ve never felt my inner nerd so stimulated.
Doom games - especially the more recent remakes - have really nailed “feel”. The 2016 title felt relatively balanced in movement, and Doom: Eternal focused on mobility and clever use of available geography. Dark Ages said “hey, those worked pretty good, but let’s also make the player feel like they’re piloting a Jaeger”. The irony - of course - being that you actually get to pilot a giant mech. From bum-rushing hordes of demons with your sheild raised, to swinging a medieval flail into the skull of a 3D version of "Him" from the PowerPuff Girls, I literally felt the weight behind everything Doomguy did. The devs did an incredible job of marrying the visuals to the haptic feedback on my controller. It really did feel like I was screaming through the air on the back of a laser-toting cyber-dragon. The plot was also really fun - another aspect of the franchise the devs have been investing in for these more recent releases. The premise of Doomguy as some ancient weapon crafted by Old Ones (TM) to squash demons is about as deep as a kiddie pool, but god I love a backstory.
I also got to experience one of those lifetime “gamer moments”. For those who don’t know, the folks behind Doom love crafting silly, epic, scenes around encountering each game’s “BFG” weapon. One level in Doom: The Dark Ages has Doomguy moving around an island destroying chains affixed to a giant Cthulu beast in the efforts of freeing him. As one does. After removing the last chain and expecting the beast to break free from its cage, nothing happens. Then the camera pans over to a small, stone pedestal with what appears to be a crossbow affixed to the top. The game encourages you to interact and, as you fire a normal-looking metal bolt towards the monster’s shell, it ERUPTS in a massive, nuclear-like explosion.
Doomguy looks at the crossbow, looks up at the massive cloud of debris, looks back at the crossbow, and then promptly yoinks it off the pedestal and walks away.
“New Item Unlocked: BFC”
Fucking epic.
Hey Thanks
Despite my existential ramblings in that second section, it’s actually been a great summer. Did some epic adventures of my own, and am working on a really cool ~top secret~ project at work involving a major IP you all probably know of, but haven’t heard about for loooong time. Might get to talk about it next year. Got to spend some time with the fam, saw some groovy fall foliage out in Colorado, and am gearing up for an epic dual against my greatest rival - and best friend - in a 10k race this Saturday.
Fat, middle school AG would (hopefully) be proud.
As always, thanks for reading this far.
Until next time,
-AG